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Friday, 8 June 2012

The Victim (work in progress)

It isn't my fault.
I'm the victim here.
I'm always the victim.
Everyone is against me.
Everyone hurts me.
Everyone betrays me.

This is how it is,
How it has always been.
Family and friends.
All against me.
All hurt me.
All betray me.

I am never to blame.
It is never me.
I am always right,
They are against me.
They hurt me.
They betray me.

I have built a wall.
I look through the windows
I see the people around me
Laughing and joking
I know they will hurt me
Eventually, they all do.

I am safe in my wall,
My wall of righteousness.
You cannot touch me
You cannot accuse me
It is never me.
I am never wrong.

You hurt me, admit it
Confess your guilt
Beg for my forgiveness
But you will never get it
If I hate, I control
If I forgive, I set free.

And I will never set you free.

I am safe with my righteousness
Safe with my hate
Safe with my pain.
Safe with my fear.
Safe knowing it's their fault
Always their fault, never mine.

But, how I wish it would end
I wish I were free
To find someone to trust
Who will not betray me
Who will not hurt me
Who will not be against me.

My wall is a dungeon
I built it to keep them out
I alone am inside
You cannot hurt me
You cannot touch me
You cannot  - love me

The door is open
I go out,
Exposed
Free to be loved
Free to be hurt
Free to be wrong

I can be wrong
So you can be right
We accept each other,
Self-righteousness ebbs
Pride ebbs
Pain ebbs

Gentleness grows
Kindness grows
Love grows.

The walls collapse.

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